Christensen Family Christmas Party 2011

For the Christensen Family Christmas party, we go bowling each year. This year Savannah loved it!
She had to have the yellow ball of course!
Xander wasn't too happy.
Afterward, everyone brought yummy treats and, we had dinner. Later, Santa came!Savannah was still not feeling so great, but when she heard Santa call out her name she walked right up to sit on his lap! It was so cute! She was so excited!
Xander wasn't so sure about it.
Savannah fell asleep on a coach. She was so tired and she started burning up again.
So cute!!!

Grandma's Little Helpers

They think they are so sneaky! LOLWho couldn't love this face!
This fudge is so good and so easy! You just just the fudge recipe on the marshmallow fluff jar.

Christmas Cookie Bark

We made this yummy treat for the annual Christensen Family Christmas party.
Recipe found HERE!

White Elephant Gift

I found this idea for our Neighborhood Christmas Party, White Elephant Gift. I thought it was hilarious! I found an example, HERE

All you need is:
Hot Glue Gun
Maxi Pads
Embellishments

I made a his and hers and put them in a shoe box with some candy and warped it.

Xander's New Surgery Date

Xander's surgery has been changed to January the 26th. He just had too many things scheduled, and they didn't have enough time to do it all. Here are two of the things that they are going to be doing. They will be doing the Ureteral Reimplant on his left kidney and Endoscopic surgery on his right. They will be do a circumcision and an echo to look at his heart.I found these definitions at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia's website.They helped me to understand it better.

• Endoscopic surgery: This is usually an outpatient procedure under general anesthesia. During surgery a lighted tube, called a cystoscope, is inserted into the urethral opening to see inside the bladder — no incisions are made. A substance, called Deflux, is injected into the area where the ureter enters the bladder. Deflux helps prevent urine from flowing back into the ureter.
• Ureteral reimplant: Under general anesthesia and through a lower abdominal incision, the ureter is reimplanted where it joins the bladder. Ureteral reimplantation corrects the anatomical abnormality that allows urine to flow back into the ureter. At CHOP this procedure can be done through a minimally invasive surgery (MIS) using a laparoscopic or robotic approach. This involves only a few small incisions instead of a larger lower abdominal incision. The benefits of MIS include a faster recovery, smaller incisions and a less noticeable scar. Most children go home the day after surgery.

Xander's Surgery for Grade 5 Vesicoureteral Reflux

Today, Xander had his appointments for his kidneys. He had ultrasounds done. Wow, he is a mommy's boy. He did not want me to put him down. It was so sad.Then after that, we went to have his VCRG test. Cathider and X Rays...It was awful...
Xander's kidneys are pretty much the same. Because of how small his left kidney is and his reflux they do not want to keep waiting to see if it will get any better. His surgery will be on January 20th. I am glad... relived that we aren't waiting anymore.There is only a 5 % chance of this surgery not working. That is comforting to know. But, with all of those feelings come all of the "what if's", all of the worrying, and the fears of him having surgery.All of the things that just make me want to hold my baby and cry.
Xander will also have an echo and his circumcision done while he is under. Today, they also saw that there is something wrong with Xander's bladder. After his post-opp they will schedule to do test to find out what is wrong.This is the other part that makes me want to cry. It just seems like at every ultrasound and every test, they find something else. At least with Savannah's and Xander's surgeries, they have been able to fix all of their little bodies quirks. We really are blessed.

Savannah's Update 12/15/11

Here's a little update in 5 minutes! Savannah's fever came back yesterday.It was so sad. She looked so miserable. It got up to 104.2. I tried just about everything to get her fever down. She was just miserable. It is hard to get Savannah to do anything that she doesn't want to such as take medicine, a room temperature bath, let me put a cool wash cloth on her forehead... She is very strong and half the size of me. She hadn't eaten or moved off the coach all day.Later in the afternoon her temperature slowly went down. Court got some ibuprofen in her. She finally took a nap, and when she woke up she ate half of a grilled cheese sandwich. She has been drinking fluids.I was so relived that she was finally comfortable!Her temperature stayed below 103 the rest of the night. Later she woke up around midnight and threw up. She was just shaking like crazy. I hate it when she throws up because it really freaks her out. But, we did get her into a bath. She fell back to sleep around 3. I know because Xander woke me up screaming then, and she was still awake watching Chip and Dale.And, No his medicine that is supposed to really help him to sleep doesn't work, I don't think. Lol. After him not going to sleep 3 hours after he had taken first medicine. We decided to try it and he did fall asleep 2 hours after that. Hopefully, Savannah will be better today! I feel so bad that she has missed so much school in the last few months. She loves school! Oh well, time to wake them up!

My brother sent me this link on facebook about treating your child's fever.

Pictures with Grandma Love

Behind the scenes of the pictures of the Grandchildren with Grandma Love... Notice Xander and Kelvin trying to escape. LOL!
The best picture! I love it because it really shows everyone's personality. lol!
For Thanksgiving, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law came out and we got to see our cute little nephew! He is so adorable!

Putting up the Christmas Tree

One of my favorite things to do at Christmas time is putting the ornaments up on the tree as a family while listening to Christmas music.
Xander really wanted to help his daddy. LOL!
Savannah wasn't feeling very good when we were putting them up this year, but she got up off the coach to help anyway! She was so excited!
Xander is such a cute little dare devil! He has no fear!
As you can see he won't stay still for a minute.

I love family traditions!!!

Sometimes You Feel Alone

As mothers and fathers our role is to "fix" everything for our child.Some challenges cannot be fixed, I have learned again and again with Savannah and Xander, but rather be adapted to. We have our good days and we have our bad ones. We get through them. I have had to let go of many things such as having well behaved child who doesn't throw tantrums or meltdowns at church, peoples homes, or at the store, or at the doctors office.I hate having to worry about everything that they eat. No matter what I do they just keep gaining.I wish I had an answer to that. I am so afraid that they will get diabetes because of me. I try so hard but at the end of the day I feel like I should have done better. I've had to let it go that Savannah will not use the potty and we now have to order her diapers online because stores do not sell them in her size. Just last week, I was listening to some moms talking about how one of the mothers little three year old, their last child is out of diapers. I know it sounds dumb but, it really hurt.Xander will not sleep in a bed, or even through the night. Yes, we have to give Savannah medication to make it through church, and Xander to get through the night. No, I might not ever have a real conversation and really know how she is felling. Savannah and Xander might not ever drive a car.
I try to not let things bring me down but sometimes I just want to have a normal day. All of those things and more just make me feel like such an awful mother. I want to be able to teach them to be able to do all of these things but I just fail and fail again, and it just feels like we are standing still in our world and everyone else is moving on. Everyone else children are talking, going on the potty, playing sports, piano, and making other amazing accomplishments, having their child cry in their crib each night for a week and they are sleeping through the night. They know other children's names and are talking to their mothers about what they did at school. They dealing with other normal problems, but we just haven't gotten there yet. I'm still having to get Savannah dressed in the mornings and trying to get through each day with out Savannah or Xander having an accident, without Savannah having a meltdown at the end of the day, preparing before we go out anywhere, trying to calm Savannah down because we are going somewhere or aren't going somewhere else. I'm just trying to get through each day with out having a meltdown myself.I hate feeling like I am doing it all myself. Like no one understands, and I hate myself for feeling like this. I though I could do this. What makes me deserve these wonderful children? Why do I feel like I keep failing them? Why do I keep falling down and I just feel like I can't ever be good enough for them and, I'm just making everything worse. When I missed Savannah's first tooth it just all came back and reminded me that this won't be the first big moment or memories that we won't have or that I will miss because Savannah just can't tell me about it. I try my best to be happy. When they make accomplishments we are ecstatic! I love them so much. They teach me every day, and make me a better person. but, sometimes I just feel inadequate.

Then, I just keep wishing that wanting another baby wasn't so awful and complicated.It's like this idea that is a dream and if I did get pregnant then, when that terrifying day comes and we have our ultrasound and they find extra fingers and complications. I don't know if I could handle it. We would go through it all again. Finding one thing after another. What if they die, what if they are mentally handicapped?I know it is so selfish of me but I want to have my chance of having a perfect pregnancy where my biggest worry is will they have jaundice or red or brown hair.I want to bring my new healthy baby home with me from the hospital, with no tubes, oxygen, or monitors.I don't want to have to go through anymore surgeries and all of the worry that comes with it.I am becoming so scared about Xander's appointment with Urology and Radiology on Thursday. We will be finding out how his kidneys are and possibly scheduling his surgery. I just keep feeling like they are going to find something else or his kidneys are going to be worse.Or something bad is going to happen.I hate not knowing.

There are so many wonderful amazing mothers of special needs children who are just amazing. I don't know how they do it and don't brake down like this. They are so strong. I want to be strong but, I'm not today. Maybe tomorrow...

Christmas Decor

The Wood Connection

If you haven't been to the Wood Connection then, you have to go!!! They are located up in Murray. They have all kinds of wood crafts there pre cut! They are so cute!!! You just take them home and modge poge and decorate them! I have a very long wish list for that store!They even do Supper Saturdays!!!

Hot Chocolate and Homemade Marshmallows in a Jar

These hot chocolate and marshmallows in a jar are one of my neighbor gifts that I am using this year! I love how fluffy the marshmallows churned out!I cheated and used Stevens Hot chocolate mix. Shhh! Don't tell!




Isn't that just awesome how the whole thing just comes out of the pan! It looks so neat!

I tossed the marshmallows in powdered sugar after I cut them out so that they worn't stick together!
The recipe and directions on how to make these springy, fluffy marshmallows are on smittenkitchen.com


Savannah and I had to make a cup for ourselves to try! I like to put my hot chocolate and marshmallows in the microwave for a bit to melt them! It is so good! You have to try it! And, I got to use my new cute mugs again!!!