Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Savannah lost her first tooth and no one knew

Today, We discovered that Savannah is missing one of her front teeth, and her other front teeth are extremely loose. I know this might just sound crazy, but, it really freaked me out! I thought that didn't happen until they are 6 or 7. I am worried that it could mean something is wrong with her. I'm sure she is fine but it just freaked me out! Worse of all I missed it! I don't know when it happened, if it hurt, or where the tooth is. Losing her first tooth is supposed to be an awesome and amazing thing for Savannah. I'm not sure if she even realizes it is gone. I feel like such an awful mother! I can't go back in time and be there when it fell out. What if I was and she swallowed it or something and I had no idea. I missed that moment, and I'll never get it back. It is supposed to be a big deal and I missed it. She doesn't even know that it was supposed to be a big deal and now I am crying because I wish I had that moment. It is as if it never really happened, but it did and it is gone. How many more of these big moments aren't going to happen for us? For Savannah? Aren't they supposed to be special? I always imaged it as Savannah coming home from school or playing and yelling "mommy, mommy I lost my first tooth!'" She would be so excited and then that night She would be so excited that she would pretend to be asleep , with her eyes closed tightly as she heard the tooth fairy coming in and switching her tooth for a $1 bill or some neat toy.
Now it will only just be a dream. This whole thing is really dumb, I know. Why does it bother me so much? Maybe it's just the lack of sleep, and staying up almost the entire night with Xander crying every night. Maybe I'm just losing it, and this just was one thing too much. I don't know. Who even knows how long it has been gone. Breath breath, it will be okay.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry, Nicole! Yet another hard thing for you to miss with that sweet girl of yours. I'm holding hope that you'll be there for the next one.