Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
They had radiology do another X Ray on Xander. The worse part was waiting for the doctor to come back with the results. It seemed like forever. Xander fell asleep in my arms and I kept looking at his precious little face, and trying to take in every movement and to remember his every feature. He looked so small and perfect. It scares me on how fast a life can be taken away. I said a silent prayer. I felt comforted. As long as Court is with me everything will be okay.When the doctor finally came back he told us that Xander still has air in his intestines, stomach and colon. It looks the same as it did for the last X Ray, and from what they could see not life threatening and the movement, but want's us to get in to see the GI specialist at PC as soon as possible. I know that they say he's okay right now but I just can't get rid of the constant fear and thoughts that something is very wrong with him.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
A meeting was held quite far from Earth.
It was time again for another birth.
Said the Angels to the Lord above-
"This special child will need much love.
"Her progress may be very slow,
"Accomplishment she may not show.
"And she'll require extra care
"From the folks she meets down there.
"She may not run or laugh or play,
"Her thoughts may seem quite far away.
"So many times she will be labeled
"'different,' 'helpless,' and disabled.
"So, let's be careful where she's sent.
"We want her life to be content.
"Please, Lord, find the parents who
"Will do a special job for you.
"They will not realize right away
"The leading role they are asked to play.
"But with this child sent from above
"Comes stronger faith and richer love.
"And soon they'll know the privilege given
"In caring for their gift fro heaven.
"Their precious charge, so meek and mild
"Is heaven's very special child."
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
I go over my Young Womens lesson again to figure out how I'm going to do it and read a story in the manual about a little girl with a mental disability. One day an apostle had come to her house and he said that she was so special in Gods eyes, and she was sent to earth for her mortal body in such a way that she cannot be tempted by this world, and she will return to God as pure as she came. He said that her parents had chosen to take care of this special spirit. These special children hold hands with god. This story touched me so much. I couldn't help but cry as I thought of my two beautiful children. If you would like to read this story I've posted it blow this post. This lesson, The "Importance of Life, lesson 32 Manual 2" has really touched my life. I feel like it was written just for me. Like it is Heavenly father knowing what I need to hear. I hope I can make it through this lesson on Sunday with crying through all of it.
I wake Savannah up and redo her go through her nap routine, then redo her hair. Her bus driver comes over at three for a meeting with me so I can meet her and do some paper work. I feel a lot better about letting her go to preschool on the bus now. It's so scary letting my daughter go with other people I don't know very well. I hope I can hold myself together her first day. I'm dreading it.
“My name’s Cindy. I laugh a lot. I like flowers and dogs and cats, even though Daddy says I love them too hard. And I like to blow out candles on birthday cakes. I’m twenty years old now. I watch Mickey Mouse on TV and other cartoons too. I can tie my shoelaces all by myself. It makes me happy when I hear other people laugh. Then I laugh.
“You know what makes me smile most? When Mama says she called me her little china doll—I was a baby then. I don’t remember much about that but I remember some kids saying, ‘Cindy, Cindy, Cindy, yeah, yeah, yeah,’ and making funny faces, and Mama shooing them away and then holding me against her and crying. I don’t understand it yet.
“I can go real high in the swing, and I like to have a shower bath and let the water run over my head.
“I remember when Daddy worked on the new chapel in the evenings and he took me with him. He was a bishop then. He gave me a little bucket and I’d pick up things. Daddy would put me on his shoulders when we’d go home. That would make me laugh too.
“ ‘Cindy’s helping build the chapel,’ he’d tell Mama and swing me down. ‘It’s Cindy’s chapel too.’
“That made me feel funny inside, and sometimes I’d feel like I was bursting; but try as hard as I could, my words wouldn’t come out right, and Mama would look sad and turn away. I would be sad too because they couldn’t understand what I was saying.
“I’ve been riding on a horse, and I’ve seen a circus. I was afraid of the big elephant. But I wasn’t afraid of the clowns. They fell down and I laughed.
“I remember when a strange man came to our house when the chapel was finished. He was from Salt Lake.
“ ‘He’s an apostle of God,’ Daddy told me. I stood and stared at him and pinched his arm until Mama pulled me away.
“ ‘Don’t bother Brother Kirkham, Cindy,’ she said.
“ ‘It’s all right, Sister Abbott,’ he said. His eyes twinkled and he lifted me onto his lap. He put one hand on my hand.
“ ‘Cindy’s no bother.’ He smiled, and I felt something warm inside of me. ‘Brother and Sister Abbott, this spirit is so special in God’s eyes,’ he went on, ‘that she was sent to earth for her mortal body in such a way that she cannot be tempted by this world. She will return to God as pure as she came. You have been chosen to take care of this special spirit. Try to understand her for she certainly holds hands with God.’
“Mama didn’t cry as much after the apostle went away, and Daddy began to whistle. The children didn’t say, ‘Cindy, Cindy, Cindy, yeah, yeah, yeah’ anymore. They took my hand and said, ‘Come and play with us, Cindy.’
“Once I followed the children to school, but they wouldn’t let me stay in school, so Mama bought me a book with pictures in it. There were pictures of Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery and Brigham Young, and I looked and looked at them while Mama told me stories, and sometimes at night I’d think about the book and try to remember what Mama said.
“In church I’d hear a name and I’d find the picture in my book and pull on Mama’s sleeve.
“ ‘That’s very good, Cindy.’ She would smile.
“I wanted to stand up in testimony meeting and tell everyone I knew the Church was true too, but when I tried to stand up, Mama and Daddy held me down.
“ ‘The children will laugh at you, Cindy,’ they said. I would cry until Mama had to take me out.
“I can ride a bike and go to a school now. I’ve learned to stuff envelopes and I have some money in a bank.
“Every testimony day I tried to stand up, and Mama kept taking me out. One Sunday night after fast meeting, after I had cried all afternoon, Mama said she didn’t know what to do about me; maybe they shouldn’t take me to fast meeting anymore. No one seemed to understand. The turmoil inside me was more than I could stand, and I didn’t know what to do about it, but I knew I had to stand up and bear my testimony. Then all of a sudden there was a light in my room, but I knew Mama had turned out the lights. I got up to see if the moon was shining. I felt so strange; the light around me was warm and I got on my knees and prayed. Then I felt a hand touch mine, soft and warm like the light in my room.
“ ‘Cindy, Cindy, what is it?’ I heard Mama’s voice. She helped me up, and Daddy put his arms around me because I was crying. For a long time Daddy and Mama sat on the bed talking about how they could help me; I wanted to tell them about the light and the hand that touched mine.
“ ‘If Cindy feels that deeply about bearing her testimony,’ Daddy said, ‘then next month she must stand up. We surely can’t deny her the right or privilege to share her testimony with others.’
“I felt calm inside and went to sleep.
“I go on picnics with the school, and we go on big yellow busses. I have friends and we laugh at each other.
“It seemed like a long long time before testimony meeting came around again, and I sat there calm and listened. Then Mama handed me the microphone and smiled. I stood up.
“ ‘I love my Daddy. I love my Mother and I love my brothers and sisters. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.’
“It was just like I’d heard the other children say it. No one laughed. It was quiet for a long time. Mama was crying. Daddy too. Then a man stood up in front.
“ ‘These spirits are special in God’s eyes,’ he said. ‘They are sent to earth for their mortal bodies in such a way they can’t be tempted by this world. Cindy will return to God as pure as she came. We don’t know how deep their emotions run, but we do know these special children hold hands with God.’
“I felt a warm soft hand close over mine. This time it was my daddy’s hand” (Cindy Abbott, as told to Verna W. Holt, “Hold Hands with God,” New Era, Feb. 1973, pp. 48–49).
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying:Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage.
And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders; that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this I will do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.
Most of all I am thankful for my Heavenly father and, also Jesus Christ for dying on the cross for me so that I can return to him and be with my loving companion and my children for eternity. We will rejoice with no fears, worries, and no more pain. I look forward to that day. I believe that on the day of the resurrection we will all be judge of our good works. I was also reading in 3 Nephi 17;9 and the words touched me.
And it came to pass that when he had thus spoken, all the multitude, which one accord, did go forth with their sick and their afflicted, and their lame, and with their blind, and with their dumb, and with all them that were afflicted in any manner: and he did heal them every one as they were brought forth unto him.
The answers that I find in the scriptures and the spirit of the Holy Ghost. are also a great confort to me, and get me through each day.